[12-23-03]

Brian "BJ" Jordan, of Palm Coast, Florida, sends these reflections as a "Gen-Xer" who shares his cohort's skepticism about romance, yet sees a need for a new romanticism, a new ability to care, to love beyond ourselves.

 

It's the Holiday season and there's a heck of a lot of talk of love out there. The love on the airwaves is a little different though - it's less kissy-face based and more about pocketbook procurement. More about giving with a hope to receive, than giving to lend a helping hand.

With the holidays in mind, I recently ran across this quote from Bill Moyers:

I knew President John F. Kennedy, the founder of the Peace Corps. And I remember him today not so much for what he was or what he wasn't but for what he empowered in me. We all edit history to give some form to the puzzle of our lives, and I cherish the memory of him for awakening me to a different story for myself. He placed my life in a larger narrative than I could ever have written. John Kennedy knew what great leaders have always known: Preserving civilization is the work not of some miracle-working, superhuman personality, but of each one of us.

John Kennedy spoke to my generation about service and sharing; he called us to careers of discovery through lives open to others. There was music in this discovery. It was for us not a trumpet but a bell sounding in countless individual hearts, a clear note that said: "You matter. You signify. You can make a difference." Romantic? Perhaps. But we were not then so indifferent toward romance.

What struck me was not just the eloquence the thought articulated, but really the meat and potatoes of it - the loss of Romance in the American conscience.

As a "Gen-Xer" I suppose I should be lethargic or "whatever" about this. I mean who cares, right? Romance is overrated and should really only be confined to a few spots - I mean let's see, Valentine's Day makes sense because Romance is a great excuse to rev up the economy and spend money, EVERYONE needs Chocolates and sappy cards right? - Music is ok, but Romance is overrated in that medium nowadays - It's much more hip to be Brittany, Aguilara or even Sir-Mix-a-Lot and talk about shakin' and takin' booties than it is to talk about a relationship. And then of course there is marriage. Romance here is overrated too, don't you think? I mean come on, anyone who has anything and is married just must get a pre-nup, you really cant trust your toys to your spouse! Even Sex-in-the-City reminds us of this. And when it comes to romance between two people in love, we better not consecrate that reality amidst the same sex as it might cause society to bust apart at the seams. Yet, let's make sure we applaud it heterosexually in gameshows and reality tv, because you know - that's really what marriage is all about, staged grandiose events to mark our individual 15 minutes of fame. So poo-poo on Romance, you don't really need it - At the end of the day it's purely a vehicle for capitalism.

But you know... even though I'm a "Gen-Xer" I don't believe all that crap - it's just what I'm told I believe. Gen X, like Baby Boomers, The Nintendo Generation and every other generational reference, is just a label perpetuated by those in control to disempower their children who will one day claim the throne. The labels are a way of "keeping" youth in check so they don't get too big for their britches and actually question the crappy reality they've been handed. So, by co-opting what's popular and stereotyping it across a generation - an entire swath of minds, hearts and souls are collectively relegated to substandard intellectual awareness, and as a result, made to be the goat for what the hegemony legislates.

So I'd submit to you that the importance of Romance in our lives, the thread of it which stitches our fabric is not gone, but has been dyed and legislated by the indifference of the establishment.

Moyers is right, we have lost the Romanticism of what it means to be an American, but more importantly one might argue we have lost what is Romantic about helping out our fellow man, about understanding our individual parts within the collective, about how our unique instrument was designed not to make a sound in the forest where cannot be heard but to play amidst its kin in an orchestra to realize the Harmony at hand.

Romance in the American Conscience. It is gone if you let it be. But please don't. Restoring the Romance is not partisan hippy hoo-ha, it's a better tomorrow.

Question authority, lend a hand, and do not be daunted by your responsibility to make things better for your neighbor. Its not so bad and your not in it alone. Romance doesn't bite, or even bark, no matter what Jerry Springer tells you. Its ok to be Romantic and you just might change the world - So what the hell, get out there and give it a try.

Brian "BJ" Jordan

Palm Coast, FL