"Queer Eye" on the Presbyterian Church:
Marriage, Morals, and Other Makeovers

The Three Sisters Dinner:
More Light Presbyterians
Shower of Stoles Project
That All May Freely Serve

216^th General Assembly, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)
Richmond, Virginia
June 26, 2004

Rev. Marvin M. Ellison, Ph.D.

[7-10-04]

 I'm here this evening because Janie Spahr telephoned, and when Janie calls, it's nearly impossible to say no. Looking out on this gathering of friends and colleagues - so many Sophia-sisters, justice-loving brothers, and diversely gendered, exquisitely embodied lovers of God - I'm doubly glad that Janie asked and that I had the good sense to say yes. Thank you, Three Sisters, for your gracious invitation.

The last time I attended a General Assembly was back in 1991 when the Task Force on Human Sexuality's report, "Keeping Body and Soul Together," was rejected by a wildly lopsided vote of 534 to 31. You'd think, wouldn't you, that after that kind of vote, I could take a hint? Surely someone like myself - a self-avowed, practicing Christian ethicist - would realize that, after helping to cause all that turmoil and upset, he might not be welcome in Presbyterian circles. This evening I'm also grateful that you're a different kind of Presbyterian circle.

That 1991 Task Force brought me together with my beloved colleague Sylvia Thorson-Smith. The two of us have recently edited a collection of essays entitled Body and Soul: Rethinking Sexuality as Justice-Love. In our introductory essay, Sylvia and I reiterate our conviction - and this brings me to my topic tonight - that sexuality will remain a church-dividing and society-dividing issue until justice is done. How will we recognize when justice is done? Surely, one sign will be when lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons are honored among God's beloved people as neither inferior to nor superior to others, but rather co-equal -- fabulously co-equal.

That justice day is not yet here, so I suggest that in the meantime, we keep a "queer eye" on the Presbyterian Church, especially when it comes to marriage, morals, and other makeovers.

Having a "good eye" is always an asset: being perceptive, keeping things in perspective, and having a compelling vision. William Sloan Coffin writes, "As I see it, the primary religious task these days is to try to think straight. Seeing clearly is more important even than good behavior, for redemptive action is born of vision. Religious faith, far from being a substitute for thought, makes better thinking possible." ⁽¹⁾

(Trust Coffin to point out that it's justice-centered religion, not religion per se, that aids in visionary thinking.)

If having a "good eye" is important, what about the queer part? Queer is not another word for "gay" although many people use the term that way. Many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people are queer, but not every queer person is LBG or T. Being queer means something like what Larry Rasmussen is talking about when he describes the mission of the church. God calls us to engage in "creative deviance on the frontline." How come deviant? Because we're not to accept the conventional definitions. Creative? Because we need to seek alternatives. On the frontline? Because we're to stay in the struggle during good times and bad.

Tonight I want to extol the virtues of keeping a "queer eye" on the world around us, especially on this crazed administration in Washington, as well as our own sometimes crazed denomination.

Joan of Arc heard voices. John of Patmos had visions, quite revelatory visions. Queer folk, let's admit it, have fantasies! Lately, I've been having a deeply satisfying recurring fantasy: the "Fab Five" visit the Presbyterian Church and do a complete make-over. You know these guys, don't you, from their hit television show? They rescue nice, somewhat clueless heterosexual men from one fashion disaster after another. Gently but firmly, they confront their social ineptitude. With good humor they encourage them to move beyond the maelstrom of masculinity. These queer change artists model how to be gracious hosts, good listeners, and attentive partners. Their motto is "you - only better." What I love about this show is how straight men and straight couples openly welcome -- and so gratefully receive -- the wisdom, zest for life, and empowerment these five gay men have to offer.

What difference would it make if the Presbyterian Church did likewise - and openly listened to and truly welcomed all the LBGT wisdom, zest for life, and empowerment that is readily available? The Fab Five might put it this way: "Be Presbyterian -- only better."

Let's turn a discerning eye first to marriage. Who could have anticipated how politicized marriage would become at the beginning of the twenty-first century? First of all, heterosexual marriage has become politicized. The Washington establishment is promoting marriage as their prime strategy for reducing poverty. They've dedicated $1.5 billion dollars to encourage - shall we say, coerce? - the young and poor to "tie the knot," so that "single moms" will marry gainfully employed husbands who will take the entire family off the public dole, or so the theory of "compassionate conservatism" goes. Marriage is being embraced as the newly favored way to privatize social welfare. To be sure, a "queer eye" sees this picture differently. Yes, it's true that helping people develop relational skills is a good thing, but it's also true that government programs aimed at promoting marriage will largely be a waste of time and resources unless these programs are accompanied by good jobs with good benefits, first-rate publicly funded education, decent health care, affordable housing, and serious reform of the criminal justice codes so that those caught in the "drug war" will receive far fewer prison sentences and far more rehabilitation programs.

I needn't tell anyone in this gathering that marriage has also become highly politicized in terms of extending the freedom to marry to same-sex couples. It's important to place in context what's happening in Massachusetts and elsewhere. The movement toward marriage equality is part and parcel of the ongoing struggle to end anti-gay oppression and to establish social and religious equality for sexual minorities. At the center of this and every other social justice struggle is the process of coming to recognize the humanity of those persons and groups who have been rendered invisible and inconsequential. So, too, is gaining awareness of the community's obligation to protect human rights.

Marriage, the U.S. Supreme Court has long clarified, is a fundamental human right. By adopting a justice lens or what I'm calling a "queer eye," we see that marriage is a changing, ever evolving institution. Furthermore, marriage should change in order to reflect our best values and deepening respect for others. As the Vermont Supreme Court stated in its 1999 Baker decision which led the way to civil unions, "The past provides many instances where the law refused to see a human being when it should have." Granting same-sex couples equal access to marriage benefits and protections is "simply, when all is said and done, a recognition of our common humanity." ⁽²⁾

In November 2003, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court wrote similarly strong words in the opening paragraph of its landmark Goodridge decision: "The Massachusetts Constitution affirms the dignity and equality of all individuals. It forbids the creation of second-class citizens." ⁽³⁾

The courts have done a very good thing by affirming the full humanity of LBGT persons and securing our equal right to marry. To the contrary, opponents of same-sex marriage seek to split the human community according to sexual difference and reward heterosexuality with special rights and status. That's unjust and wrong.

Using our "queer eye," our message should be - pardon the expression -- straightforward: equality -- and only equality -- in marriage. The church should not be promoting marriage per se and certainly not patriarchal marriage. Rather, we should be encouraging only egalitarian partnerships based on friendship and mutuality between co-equals. In other words, the church should educate and equip people to marry not for love only, but for love and justice. Justice-love, that very queer virtue, should become the normative expectation for all relationships.

Some might say, "yes but." Yes, but when gay and lesbian couples seek to marry, aren't they merely mimicking heterosexual couples, trying to assimilate by "passing as straight," and only seeking to gain respectability? No doubt, same-sex couples seek to marry for similarly complex reasons that heterosexual couples seek to marry. Some may want to assimilate, but something far more interesting and important culturally is happening here, what might be called a process of reverse assimilation. These days many heterosexuals in the cultural majority are acting - well, there's no other way to put it - more and more queer. For one thing, the normative sexual practice for most married heterosexual couples is contracepted, not procreative sex. How very gay! Second, many straight couples are working hard to overcome rigid gender roles and re-structure their relationships on the basis of mutual respect and power sharing. Sounds queer to me! And third, many are experimenting with alternative forms of family, including extended networks of friends and loved ones. Again, all rather queer.

About morals, let me say that, by and large, Presbyterians know their etiquette, but even good etiquette is a poor substitute for good ethics. Good ethics is about paying attention to the other who stands before and alongside you. Ethics is about care, and justice-making is about respect. When it comes to sexuality and sexual difference, and here I speak as a gay man, I'm reminded of W.E.B. Dubois' observation that "Being a problem is a strange experience." Needless to say, Christians over the centuries have twisted sexuality and made it into a much feared and greatly debated problem. This evening I have an important announcement to make: There is no "problem" of homosexuality." Even better, there is no "sin of homosexuality." Homosexuality, like heterosexuality and bisexuality and intersexuality and a-sexuality, is morally neutral. You don't lose points if you're gay; you don't gain points if you're straight. Looked at with a "queer eye," the entire sex/gender continuum doesn't work on a point system. What matters ethically is not identity, but character and conduct. On this score, the Bible has much to say about right character, right conduct, and right relationship. I'm also reminded of a quip by lesbian comedian Lynn Lavner. "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals," she notes, "and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."

About makeovers, I quote one of my favorite Southern authors, Flannery O'Connor, who's written: "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you - odd." It's rather odd, isn't it, during these days of homeland and international insecurity, to claim an unquenchable thirst for justice, to insist on treating every person with dignity, and to yearn deeply to protect the earth and preserve it in all its beauty? In struggling for a comprehensive, multidimensional justice, the Three Sisters know that the going often gets tough and lonely, but the good news is that we're never alone. God, the never-flagging Lover of justice, never ever lets go. With persistence and grace, God insists on transformation, not merely reformation. As the Bible and our own lives testify, God is the consummate make-over artist.

Some years ago, a truly great Presbyterian theologian and queer friend, Robert McAfee Brown, known also as St. Hereticus, wrote about the duality of peacemaking. From one angle, working for peace can appear as nothing but an exercise in futility, butting your head, time and again, against a wall. From another angle, looked at with a "queer eye," seeking peace and the things that make for peace is empowering because it means aligning with the ways things are meant to be - and keeping faith with the impulse at the very heart of the universe.

A queer God forever extends a transformative invitation to all: Be bold, and be odd. Keep a "queer eye" on the church and beyond. Stay in the struggle, and while doing do, continue to party with lots of justice-loving friends. Above all, be prepared for a divine makeover, the makeover of a lifetime. After all, the best is yet to come!

MARVIN M. ELLISON teaches Christian ethics at Bangor Theological Seminary and is a minister-member of the Presbytery of Northern New England. He is author of Same-Sex Marriage? A Christian Ethical Analysis (Pilgrim, 2004) and co-editor with Sylvia Thorson Smith of Body and Soul: Rethinking Sexuality as Justice-Love (Pilgrim, 2003).

NOTES

1.  William Sloan Coffin, A Passion for the Possible: A Message to U.S. Churches (Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1993), 2.

2.  Baker v. Vermont (filed December 20, 1999), 6, cited on the web page of Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, www.glad.org.